This piece was written by Cath who attended Soul Spark held at Sheffield Cathedral in April / May 2002. Many thanks for her willingness to share it. Some thoughts on Soul Spark

I saw the information about Soul Spark and immediately felt drawn to it and have been so thankful since for those evenings that gave me comfort and a great sense of something very important happening to me.

I remember feeling nervous and excited that first evening, not really sure what I was coming to and what I expected to get out of it. It was a painful evening in many ways as the beautiful music which started it had been one of my mums favourite pieces of music and had also been played at her funeral, but that was the start of my feeling of a profound sense of being held and a sense of something deeply comforting which grew in me as the weeks passed.

I was anxious that first evening, feeling unsure about the sharing groups and how I would feel coming from a Quaker background and not very familiar with the Bible passages or very comfortable with “talking God”. It was not easy and I did waiver about coming the next week but encouraged by the kind people there and the intense feelings I had had I came again and went on to find it the start of an awakening of something in me that has since given me an enormous strength and been constantly suprising.

Monday evenings became something I really looked forward to, the deep relaxation and beautiful music, the sharing and warmth. I really did feel a great sense of excitement that I could relate to this, suddenly God seemed a lot more accessible, part of me and my life rather than a “separate entity”. I felt on a journey but one that had signposts to take me on to the next place.

I remember sitting quietly in the Cathedral one Monday evening writing some thoughts and feeling a deep sense of inner peace and being far more open to God than before.

In the sharing group I felt very supported and after the first week surprised myself with the ease at which I found it possible to contribute.

 I enjoyed these groups and having the opportunity to listen and learn from the others in the group as well as appreciating the deep silence that followed each contribution. The silence became very important to me throughout Soul Spark, an opportunity to reflect on the new experiences I was finding for prayer and a whole range of feelings.

On the last evening we were all given a card by the person sitting next to us, chosen at random and face down. The words on my card were so right for me and I came away feeling elated and empowered with a sense that although I was not going to have my Monday evenings anymore I had been given an indication of that continuing special support and that God would be with me.

For me Soul Spark was a gift. It helped me to move on from an extremely painful time in my life and a barren period of spirituality and I truly feel that I have grown in a way that I could not have imagined and since have had so many experiences where I have felt that God has been helping me and guiding me in a way that I had not been aware of before. So many moments have occurred when I have been surprised and felt a real sense that god has been there for me.

When my dad also died in August I was grateful to have the opportunity to care for him with my brothers and sister. On the day he died we had all been together by his bed in my brother’s house for a Quaker meeting for worship. In the afternoon I returned home to my own family. In the early evening I was doing some ironing when I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to go to the Cathedral. I left everything and went there. I sat in the comforting quiet thinking of my dad and all he meant to me, and the very special time I had been privileged to share that morning.

As I opened our front door on my return from the Cathedral the phone was ringing. It was my brother to say that my dad had just died. Later that evening as I arrived to say a final good-bye a beautiful rainbow appeared, as one had at my mums funeral, affirming that all would be well.

When I started my new job in September the very first person I met was Pat who had been at Soul Spark…… hello God.